"What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?"
-Psalm 8:4

"Arise, O Lord, let not man triumph; let the nations be judged in your presence. Strike them with terror, O Lord; let the nations know they are but men."
-Psalm 9:19,20

If you were a fly on the wall inside my head the past few weeks you will have witnessed a collaboration of renewed realization in the mighty majesty and incomparable glory of the One True God with a sudden awareness of my own UNworthiness and the overwhelmingly shameful complacency of my faith thus far and that of so many believers like me. Especially those with whom God has blessed their socks off in this little place called America, and whom seem utterly ungrateful.

I have, for the fullness of my 27.5 years been one of these, and my own LUKEWARMNESS shames me greatly. I have had enough of it! I have ridden the fence since salvation and, to tell you the truth, I make myself sick. God has blessed me, though up until recently I tended to resent it, with an "over-active conscious." By that I mean that I feel convicted over sin incredibly easily. I can't get the needle just barely on the other side of the speed limit without the heavy awareness of my disobedience. Unfortunately, I have not allowed this to stop my "small" sins hardly ever, and have even allowed more than my share of "biggins" to slip under the door and take up residence in my life. The convictions never go, though. Thank the Lord for the Holy Spirit who moved in a decade ago and refuses to leave! :)

So. Its spring cleaning season, and I'm sweeping off the cobwebs and tidying up the collasol mess! God has seen to bless me by whitewashing the walls. Scripture is hard at work to polish and scrub even the tiniest of crevices. And I am remembering the peace and freedom that comes with a "clean house." Without the burden of filth hanging on my shoulders, I am freed up to hopefully be used by the Lord and focus on others.

Ok, I think I've exhausted that analogy. But I just want to express that I desperately long to live the life of a radical believer. I don't want to be tossed and blown by the wind, nor do I have any desire to look at myself in the mirror, and walk away forgetting what I look like. I don't want to settle for american christianity and buy into the lies that a life that has God in it is the same as living my life for God. How I wish this sort of awakening for my brothers and sisters in Christ! God is worth so much more than we (very generally speaking) have been offering to Him!